Ron the True Fan: Not sure how THIS got lost, but...You know the usual message!
Stardate44006.5/January 3, 2367 - Sol System, Earth, Starfleet Command Headquarters
The newsfeeds were STILL broadcasting it.
A superdreadnought, massive and powerful bearing the most infamous name in Starfleet. And it became a quickly tired joke to ask the question. But it was asked anyways.
"Who in the hell is INSANE enough to crew with that… FREAK?" demanded Vice Admiral Alynna Nechayev, commander of the area of operations near the Cardassian-Federation border.
"Clearly someone with a great deal of patience and willpower." mused Admiral William Layton, acting Commander-in-Chief of Starfleet Command. "And a capable tactician."
"I wouldn't call his words 'patient', Bill." said Vice Admiral Richard Berman, vice-commander of Starfleet Tactical. "He lambasted the entire fleet into obeying him and clearly damaged the Melbourne."
"And yet he was the one that coordinated the fleet into destroying the cube. And apparently rescuing Captain Picard in the bargain," remarked Rear Admiral Gilbert Graham, vice-director of Starfleet Intelligence.
"And he's not one of yours?" demanded Admiral Connaught Rossa, commander of Starfleet Engineering.
Commodore Erik Pressman snorted. "I'd know," said the director of covert operations. "It's not SFI."
"The point is moot." declared Admiral Ronald Moore, commander of Earth Spacedock. "We've gotten reports that the ship's from the future. The better question is why would he violate the Temporal Prime Directive?"
Admiral Gregory Quinn gestured to a security monitor. "We'll ask him. He beamed down with Jade-"
"Ra Cailum." insisted Vice Admiral Alexander Kurtzman, head of Starfleet Logistics, the only member of the Admiralty to be given the post by his predecessor, the disgraced Admiral Lesley Moonves, who was recently brought up on corruption charges, taking bribes from the Orions. And Kurtzman HATED AIs. "Why does that light bulb have to come down here?"
This brought the ire of the ONE MAN you DON'T want to piss off on him. "Show some RESPECT." said Fleet Admiral Eugene Wesley Roddenberry, Chief of Staff and defacto supreme Commander of Starfleet, the oldest member of Starfleet's high command, but still sharp as a tack.
Kurtzman recoiled, saying nothing before the doors opened, revealing Captain Ronald Pinkerton and the AI of the Ra Cailum, Jade, who looked… well, terrified. Ron reached out a hand, letting her hold it, Kurtzman scoffing in disgust.
"Admiral Roddenberry." Ron said, giving him a very respectful nod. "Admiral Quinn. Admirals Moore and Berman."
The only ones he acknowledged with even a hint of respect. This… was going to be bad.
"Captain… Pinkerton, yes?" Admiral Roddenberry asked, "Well… I think I speak for all of us for saying we owe you a debt of gratitude for saving so many lives in Wolf 359."
Ron turned his attention to the man in charge of Starfleet's massive logistical fleet. "And the people of Jouret 4 have YOU to thank for not being able to lead a full life because they didn't have anything to ESCAPE." he said, Kurtzman recoiling at the BARELY contained rage. "Rana 4, too. They had a bunch of hand phasers to fight off a Husnock starship when they SHOULD have had a robust, heavy defense grid as a frontier colony!"
"I fail to see what this has to do with the Borg, Captain Pinkerton." Admiral Kurtzman growled. "Bringing up irrelevant incidents will not help you."
"Jouret 4's population was assimilated by the Borg. They didn't have any ships to escape the colony." Ron retorted dryly. "Because you denied any and all requests for parts and facilities to be transported there. That's on Logistics. Meaning that's on YOU."
"Starfleet has many frontier worlds Mr. Pinkerton, and logistics can only do so much." Kurtzman rolled his eyes, "We can't just transport beam supplies from planet to planet with the flick of a wrist. The attack happened so suddenly that the numbers say even if they did have the ships in question, they never would of made it out in time before the whole colony were destroyed."
"Yet they never even had the CHANCE. Instead, you turned a blind eye just to get an extra case of Romulan ale in your locker. And that CERTAINLY doesn't excuse Delta Rana 4." Ron continued. "The head of the colony requested, TEN TIMES, for components for a defense grid to be installed. I presume you're familiar with the Enterprise-D's findings? The colony being GLASSED, because all the colonists had were hand phasers and not the planetary phaser batteries they would need to repel an attack from a hostile alien force until Starfleet arrived to assist. Whose department does that fall on?"
"Starfleet Analytics projected that the colony was low-risk," Kurtzman reinforced, "Those resources were better placed to reinforce the neutral zone borders, the loss of the colony was regrettable - but we had no way to know about the Husnock activity in the sector."
"Trusting the people on the frontier didn't pass your mind?" Roddenberry asked. "And why didn't this go past my desk?"
"My aid submitted the report,"
"Certainly didn't help that you were getting all that kanar shipped in." Ron dryly said. "2316. Hard to get unless you know certain people in the Cardassian Central Command."
"I am not going to just sit here and listen to this slander, Captain!" Kurtzman shouted, shooting up to his feet. "Starfleet Logistics is not exactly an easy assignment, but I make due with what we have!"
"I mean… we sorta have like… thousands of Miranda hulls…" Jade spoke up, somewhat meekly. "You… don't even need crews for just transportation, just… slave the ships together to the command of a shipgirl, and you have twice the logistics for half the material cost-"
"No one asked for your opinion, Machine." Kurtzman glared, as Jade deflated and hid behind Ron.
Ron extended his hand for her to hold. "Yet she is CORRECT." he all but growled. "There are 14579 Miranda-Class starships currently in service. 13549 are assigned to YOUR department. There IS no excuse, other than blatant racism, which, as someone who is SUPPOSED to be a member of Starfleet, you are NOT exactly supposed to let color your choices."
"A machine is not a race," Kurtzman rolled his eyes, "What, are we going to give rights to replicators next? The Shipboard A.I's are a strategic resource - to be used and expended as Starfleet requires. If it were my choice, these ridiculous A.I would never be aboard a starship - as they represent far too great of a risk to the Federation should they go rogue." He then gestured to the other Admirals. "Sadly, my peers thought differently. If anything, I envy your timeline, Mr. Pinkerton - your starfleet didn't make the same mistake as ours."
"Do they pass the Turing Test? Because if they do, that's an immediate qualifier for sentience, to be determined by experts." Ron countered. "The most recent example was last year. Operations Officer, USS Enterprise-D. Life is LIFE, no matter its' form."
"The M-5 drills!" Kurtzman countered, "Nomad!"
"Daystrom was on the brink of a nervous breakdown and it passed onto the machine. Nomad was ALREADY insane because of contradictions in his core programming and directives." Ron smoothly countered. "Therefore, Admiral, you owe MY SHIP'S AI an apology."
"I don't owe that mechanical whor* a thing." Kurtzman said plainly.
Roddenberry facepalmed, Jade lowering her head in shame as the head of SFL smiled smugly.
"Admiral Roddenberry, permission to be candid?" Ron asked.
"You already have been, but I suspect you've been civil so far." the old man said, amused. "She's your ship."
"Good. Then you don't have a problem with me RIPPING HIS SPINE OUT." Ron said before grabbing the Admiral by the throat and throwing him through the doors, breaking the oak paneling.
Everyone winced as Kurtzman coughed, groaning in pain before reaching for a phaser hidden on his person.
"REALLY?" Ron said, before getting a phaser to the chest… which bounced off VERY familiar shields. "I'm an ex-Borg, dumbass. Try using a flagpole!"
As Ron started turning Kurtzman into his bitch, Roddenberry gestured for Jade to approach his seat. "I am VERY sorry." he said. "He's always hated your kind, dear. Doesn't make much sense, if I'm honest. We just couldn't find the right man to take over your command-"
"AHAOW!"
Quinn blinked as he looked into the corridor. "Was that the Wilhelm Scream?" he asked incredulously.
"I… think so…?" Jade shrugged, looking back to Roddenberry. "I… it's okay, though… I think I might have found the right man now… " She muttered, briefly glancing back at Ron who was currently smashing Kurtzman into the ground.
"APOLOGIZE! NOW!" her captain demanded.
Kurtzman gurgled, but she got the feeling that was a 'no'.
"Apologize NOW and I STOP." he offered. "Otherwise I TOSS YOUR ASS OUT THE WINDOW!"
They were five floors up. THAT wouldn't be pleasant.
"I'm s-s-sorry!" the man cried.
"MEAN IT!" Ron demanded.
Kurtzman went limp. Not dead, but unconscious.
"…Captain Pinkerton isn't going to get in trouble for this, is he?" Jade asked.
"Well, considering there are laws against what Admiral Kurtzman did…" Roddenberry trailed off. "Mistreating you like that WAS a big mistake."
Ron kicked the unconscious man and walked in like nothing happened. "Where were we?" he asked.
"Questioning what you did at Wolf 359?" Pressman questioned.
Ron smiled at the commodore. "Nova-Charlie-Charlie-Five-Three-Eight-Four-Seven." he recited.
Jade blinked. That was a Naval Construction Code. She cross referenced before finding a match: USS Pegasus, Oberth-Class, lost in 2359… under the command of Captain Erik Pressman.
There was an unspoken challenge: 'I KNOW what happened on that ship. EXACTLY what happened. You want to try it?'. Ron was BLACKMAILING him.
"Peggy?" Jade asked, glancing at Ron, then back at Eric. "What about Peggy?"
"You knew her?" Ron asked, glancing back at her briefly.
"I mean… Pegasus was one of the few ship girls who liked to talk to me…" Jade said, "Some of the crew even liked me… " she looked at Eric. "What's he talking about?"
"Why mention my old command?" Pressman asked.
"The fact you were testing an illegal phase-shift cloaking device, for one." Ron said, almost casually.
"I'm sorry, what?" Roddenberry asked, turning to Eric - who narrowed his eyes.
"That is highly classified and sensitive information, Captain." He stated, calmly.
"For you, maybe." Ron stated, "But it's public knowledge by my time, after the Enterprise found the ship halfway stuck in an asteroid."
"…what?" Jade asked, eyes wide.
"She was cloaked, the plasma exploded, making you think she was lost and drifted into an asteroid in Sector 1601. Half of the ship's inside solid rock." Ron explained. "The only reason you have that star on your collar is because you KNEW about the cloak."
Pressman was silent for a moment, before he sighed. "A strategic weakness we're LETTING the Romulans exploit!" he stated, seeing no point in hiding it anymore.
"Oh, PLEASE. Give it twenty years and the treaty won't matter anymore." Ron retorted, almost flippantly. "You're still culpable in their deaths."
"If you have evidence of this, Captain…" Roddenberry started, now VERY annoyed. "Then get him out of here."
"No friends to help you THIS time." Ron said before kicking the commodore in the balls.
Many winced in sympathy.
"As for YOU, Admiral Nechechev…" he started darkly. "Let's talk about your tendencies to ENABLE a fascist government."
USS Minerva - Wolf 359
Tatsuki was technically in charge of the fleet while they waited for Ron, but for the moment they all knew their orders - salvage operations, helping maintain the 'present fleet', and as soon as everyone was ready, return to earth. Much more slowly than Ron did, but that was a given. Quantum Slipstream (aka Ludicrous Speed) was not supposed to be used willy-nilly.
And right now, Tatsuki was off-duty, anyway - for a few more hours, at least, as she emerged from the shower wrapped in a towel. Elisa followed her shortly thereafter.
"Some of our Bajoran crewmembers want to talk to Ron," Elisa commented as they went to get dressed.
"The only reason someone would want to talk to him directly would be to get his advice," Tatsuki mused. "He is a living database. Let me guess: the Cardassians?"
Elisa nodded. "TPD is out the window, so they want to lay the smackdown early. And you have to admit, having the Cardassians out of the way might make the Dominion War easier."
"I'll bring it up with Ron once we get back to Earth," Tatsuki said. "Anything else we need to deal with?"
"Just the thousands of complaints from survivors from the ships Ron blew up." Elisa said, making Tatsuki facepalm.
"How many GODDAMN TIMES do we have to show them the Enterprise-E footage?!" she exclaimed. "Do we have to show them what happened in main engineering, too?!"
"I have no idea," Elisa said. "Still, T'vrell and Zarva are handling it, and we don't go back on duty for another few hours…"
Tatsuki blushed, then moaned as Elisa kissed the side of her neck. "You're insatiable," she teased.
Elisa grinned up at her wife. "At least Ron's not around to walk in by accident," she said as the towels dropped to the floor.
Earth - Starfleet Command
Roddenberry watched as the room depleted of flag officers.
Kurtzman was under unofficial arrest - soon to be official once his office was searched - Pressman resigned, along with six other admirals, all because one man from the future went and showed them just how badly their policies screwed up.
Nechachev echoed Nevelle Chamberlain, ceding territory to the Cardassian Union, even putting their colonies on the other side of the border! This led to a terrorist organization, the Maquis, rising up and wrecking the Cardassian's day. Which was followed by the Cardies joining some superstate called the Dominion and getting over two billion people killed in a two-year period.
No wonder Ron hated her.
Only Quinn, Berman, Moore and Graham remained in the room. He had nothing bad to say about them and only complimented Roddenberry.
(The only negatives that could possibly be assigned to Graham were that he had a few… overeager subordinates who sometimes went outside the scope of his orders. But Graham still held the best interests of the Federation at heart, so Ron didn't say anything direct about those deniable asset subordinates that sometimes went below and beyond. Just a few code phrases that Graham recognized and intended to look into later.)
"So, might I ask, Captain, why you feel comfortable roughhousing flag officers?" the old man asked.
"Executive Order 174985/A, signed by Fleet Admiral Jorel Quinn and President of the United Federation of Planets Aennik Okeg. 'The officer in question answers only to the Chief of Staff of Starfleet, otherwise known as Commander, Starfleet, and the President of the Federation, in order to quickly resolve any crisis that occurs'." Ron answered. "The order is also retroactive, as per-"
"Captain, I helped WRITE the regulation." Roddenberry said, smiling slightly. "I'm not senile YET. So… you only answer to me and the President?"
"We live in interesting times, sir." Ron said. "By 2409 your successor, Jorel Quinn, was in need of dedicated problem solvers due to various trouble-spots happening all at once - and the Klingons getting all aggressive again. I was one, the captain of the Minerva was another."
"And the order applies no matter what." Roddenberry said.
"Time travel, unfortunately, is a COMMON problem." Ron deadpanned. "So, here I am. The hammer to all your nails."
"I'd swing him." Jade said, unable to resist.
Most of the admirals groaned, Roddenberry giving her a look of admonishing amusem*nt while Ron rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"I'm going to have to train that out of her." he said. "I presume I'll have to talk to Admiral Leyton after he gets over the fact I told him he committed treason out of fear to get my command finalized. And I suppose to command both ships, I'll need a promotion."
"Possibly… though there is an alternative," Roddenberry noted, as Ron's brow rose for a moment. "I read the report on the Ra Calium, even after the engineering your team did she's in rough shape… however, it seems that your own Ra Calium… appears to be missing her own shipgirl, obviously."
"Respectfully, sir, I don't see a good reason to decommission a perfectly good starship." Ron retorted. "There is also precedent for two starships with the same name to be in commission at the same time."
"Really?" Berman asked. "Which one?"
Ron smiled. "USS Enterprise, NCC-1701-F, Odyssey-Class and USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D, Galaxy-Class." he said. "Followed by the F and her successor, the Constitution III-Class 1701-G during 2409 to…well, when we got sent back. I see no reason to not do the same."
"That's fair enough," Roddenberry replied, "though I still think it might be easier to transfer Jade to your own ship. We can find another shipgirl to put in the Excelsior frame - we did that with the Excelsior-class Melbourne for the Wolf 359 emergency, uploading the shipgirl Rome into the frame." He paused. "And… I'll have whoever takes over for SFL go over the listing of shipgirl cores we've recovered from destroyed or disabled starships. I would like to give shipgirls to the rest of your fleet, as long as the captains are willing."
"Up to them." Ron said before waiting for the order.
"Dismissed." Roddenberry said, getting the hint before both left the room, Jade snuggling close to her captain. The old man chuckled. Young love. Jade was clearly smitten. …But how to make her captain fall for her?
Something of a game he liked to play: ship matchmaking. Jade was always a hard one.
Kirk and Enterprise just worked… TOO well. Hell, after the upgrades… OH BOY.
Earth Spacedock
Shipgirls and officers kept an eye on the Excelsior-Class ship. The Ra Cailum was notoriously flighty.
"Captain, I'm picking up a massive number of warp signatures coming from the direction of the Wolf System." a sensor operator reported.
The Station's AI, the near spitting image of an Egyptian Queen, hmmed. "Well, they did win. Prepare to receive the-"
Dropping out of warp VERY uncomfortably close was a massive kilometer-long ship bearing the same name as the Ra Cailum, but with a different registry, coming within two meters of the outer plating.
"HOLY sh*t! BRACE!" yelled the station XO as the superdreadnought flew past.
On the Minerva, Tatsuki just groaned. "There she goes, showing off again. Riza 'Destroyer of Shuttles' Pinkerton, able to make an Oddy fly like a ship a tenth of the size… but tearing apart anything smaller than a Connie because they just can't handle the stress."
The superdreadnought turned, putting the smaller heavy cruiser under her protective umbrella, daring anything to come and get her.
Not that Tatsuki thought anyone would be stupid enough to try. The ESD of this time was not as tough as Probert Station. The Ra Cailum was also… well… other Oddy captains were jealous of her BEFORE her refit to Lexington standards.
"Ra Cailum Actual to Minerva." came a hail.
"Thank whatever passes for a god that isn't Q!" she exclaimed. "Ron, I'm going to need you to-"
"Tell the Charon to start refitting the Excelsior-Class hull to modern spec." Ron cut off. "I have a new problem to deal with." with that, the comm ended.
"…This is revenge for the paperwork, isn't it…" she groaned.
"You DID dump it on him for three weeks straight." Elisa commented.
Tatsuki sighed. "And I didn't even get to tell him the issue regarding wanting to go after the Cardassians…" she muttered. After a moment, she sighed again, and went to issue the orders to the Charon.
The massive ship, inspired by the Acheron of the Terran Empire, was the fleet's mobile starbase and repair facility, and moved, seemingly menacingly, towards low orbit, scooping up the smaller Excelsior.
USS Ra Cailum (Excelsior-Class)
Ron had to deal with two problems. One… Jade was very… glompy. She hadn't gotten off his back, literally, since they beamed up.
Two, while the older ship was being refit, her AI core had to be removed. Problem was… he had no idea where it was or how to remove it. Which meant that they'd need to bring Jade to show here where it was. Thankfully it wasn't too hard to find.
"So… is this your room?" Ron asked, glancing around the somewhat sizable room. From his memory of the 'standard' Excelsior-class starship the space this room took up usually would've been some of the extra guest quarters near the center of the saucer section.
In their place was a rather large, and expansive room with a vast computer system in the center shaped like a tower that extended from the bottom to the top in a hexagonal structure. To the 'front' of the computer was a fairly simple terminal like one would find in any room, though clearly of the older S/COMS standard that was discarded after the swap to isolinear in the 2330s and the adoption of the far more efficient and user-friendly LCARS, however the other 5 sides had large human-sized 'tubes' filled with some sort of liquid substance. Within each of these tubes… was what appeared to be a near identical copy of Jade.
Aside from that though, the rest of the room looked more or less like an enlarged studio apartment - with a kitchen, bathroom, bed, couch and everything… and as Ron expected, much of the room had various… sexual implements laid about. Even the bed itself was heart-shaped.
"Yup…" Jade nodded, her hands behind her back as she blushed as Ron looked over all of her… toys. "I… um, didn't… have time to, uh… swap stuff out…"
"I figured I'd run into this, so it's fine. We'll just have to… work on that." he said. "But this is going to be worse than I thought."
"Worse?" she squeaked. "H-How-"
"Relax. Your systems look like they weren't changed over since your hull was commissioned back in 2318. Hell, your interfaces are still S/COMS." he said, looking them over. "So you're used to a duotronic speed. The isolinear/bio-neural computers on the big boat might overwhelm you. I hate to say this, but you're not going to be taking over ship functions for a while."
Jade pouted.
"You don't have the incremental experience like other… legacy shipgirls." Ron quickly added. "You're going from late 23rd Century computers to 25th Century tech in one jump! Slow and steady. I don't want my girl burning herself out."
Jade's pout was replaced with a blush. She was HIS girl.
"So, answer me this…" Ron asked, looking at the 'copies' of Jade. "We've run into plenty of shipgirls… are there no ship boys?"
"I mean… technically? It's been done before," Jade shrugged, "Though, Starfleet analytics and personnel all report that crews react more positively to a more… feminine voice and appearance, with a boost to ship morale and all that. More masculine shipboys are a rarity, but if you look hard enough you might find some shipboys that are just really, REALLY effeminate." She giggled for a moment. "Sometimes we jokingly call them 'Trap girls' or 'Trap boys'."
"So there's a female bias." the captain noted, wincing at the connectors. "Who's the oldest?"
"Enterprise. She's as old as the Federation itself." Jade said. "Older, even: her first hull was the NX-01."
"I've been to the NX-01 at the Fleet Museum. Goddamn she's pretty." he admitted as he looked over the processors. "The design's timeless. No matter what we do, we always go back to her."
"She really is…" Jade blushed with a brief far-off stare. "Her hull and her body is always so… perfect…"
"So… I've been trying to grasp how this… SOUL Matrix works," Ron mused. "Mind explaining to me in your own words how this all works?"
"Of course, Captain!" Jade nodded, "the Semi-Organic Universal Lifeforms were originally created by an Andorian scientist named T'halan Rav. The concept was to help ease the stress and crew requirements for starships while maximizing performance - all without sacrificing any meaningful draw on power requirements or space, or concerns about the whole 'AI revolution' thing that Earth media loved to talk about before the Eugenics War."
Ron hummed. "In my timeline, he was killed. The freighter he was on, with 'experimental technologies' that he never elaborated on, was destroyed by a tele-controlled Klingon V'on'talk-Class raider." he said.
"The Enterprise saved him! Blew up that Klingon ship. But everything had to be installed on the Enterprise because there was no time to get to Earth." Jade explained. "Even made her immune to the Romulans' capture methods!"
"That's the divergence point. The Enterprise NX-01 had a power failure that kept them from saving that freighter." he said. "'The kingdom was saved, all for the want of a horseshoe nail'."
"Oh… well, after that, the Enterprise became the first Shipgirl, and with all the success she had later on virtually every new Starfleet starship had a Shipgirl installed. The SOUL Matrix itself is the mind and… well, 'soul' of a Ship girl."
"What's the difference between your SOUL Matrix and something like Data's Positronic Brain?"
"Well, Data's brain is entirely cybernetic," She answered, "From the ground up, he's meant to be a total android. A Shipgirl's SOUL Matrix is mostly organic in nature, being bioengineered using DNA from a donor to make a humanoid brain - and then enhanced with key cybernetic components like the neural network to provide near one-to-one connection with the entire ship they are bonded with."
"So is your SOUL in here," Ron pointed to the computer in the room's center "Or here?" he pointed to Jade's head.
"Technically both, but most of the data we accumulate is stored aboard our hull's CPU," She gestured to the center console. "All the ship systems, crew data and all that are stored here. My humanoid bodies share a constant connection with whatever ship my Matrix is installed into, so I can access basic ship systems and data. If a ship girl is disconnected… I mean, technically there'd be 'two' of me - the one in my body, and the one that is part of the ship. But when connection is reestablished, our minds become reunited with the SOUL Matrix and all data is process and connected - and any potentially dangerous data is quarantined to prevent things like what happened to Yamato…" She pauses for a moment, before glancing at Ron. "…speaking of… you think you have any ships that'd take in Yamato?"
Ron blinked for a moment "Yamato as in the shipgirl?" He asked, "She… survived what happened?" Ron distinctly recalled the report from his timeline - it was the first time they had any interaction with Iconian technology and it cost the lives of the whole Yamato crew.
"Yeah… the crew were able to eject her SOUL Matrix before her hull blew from the Iconian virus…" Jade sighed, "They… haven't gotten a new hull for her yet, due to the ship production slowdown… she's really nice, she deserves her own ship and crew…"
Ron ran through the fleet count. "I think I have one for her. Fitting, too." he said. "The ship class was named after her."
"…She had a whole SHIP CLASS named after her?!" Jade exclaimed. "What's it like?"
"Why don't you wait until we're in your second home, first?" he admonished lightly. "Any other Shipgirls?"
"Well, there's Constance… sorry, I mean Constellation," Jade mentioned, counting them down. "Kirk saved her before her hull rammed into the Doomsday Machine… we recently got Stargazer back, Exeter's looking for a new hull… and there's Reiley… err, I mean Reliant."
…Ron slowly turned over to Jade upon hearing that name. "Reliant… as in…"
Jade nodded.
"…KKKHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"
Elisa glanced up for a moment, groaning. "Who said the name this time…" She muttered.
Somewhere in Earth Spacedock, a young woman in a late 23rd Century Starfleet uniform was busy drinking away, with long golden blonde hair and purple eyes. She was about to take a sip… before she heard the name…
"…KKKHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!" She suddenly screamed out, slamming her drink into the counter. "WHO SAID IT?! WHO SAID THAT MOTHERf*ckER'S NAME?!"
"…yeah…" Jade shifted nervously, "Reliant… Riley was forcibly disconnected by the Augments when they took over… and they ejected her out into deep space before they went on their rampage with her hull… she blames herself for what happened to Enterprise's second Hull… and Spock's death… and a lot of other things…"
"She has a full CLASS named after her. Only question is if she'd mind being in what's effectively a super-Miranda."
"…you kept them around?"
"Hey, when something WORKS, you don't toss it. You upgrade it." Ron said defensively. "The Miranda's only weakness was her age. We've got two hundred ships available and my boat's the defacto flagship of the SCE. We'll get them online. Now let's get your central core disconnected."
Jade raised a finger. "Uh-"
"It's as close to the correct term as I can get, alright?" Ron cut off. "Now, lets get all this stuff disconnected and shipped to your summer home while your winter home gets one HELL of a renovation."
"O-Okay!" She nodded, her smile returning, "Shouldn't take too long… I can finally do a trick I learned!" Jade turned to the Matrix and clapped her hands. Suddenly the five pods with the Jade copies were drained of the substance, before opening up as the five copies 'woke up' before stepping out, all looking at Jade and Ron.
"Sisters!" Jade called out, "It's time we finally got an upgrade! Get to working on disconnecting the SOUL Matrix from our hull! We're moving!"
"YAY!" All of the Jade's chorused as they all hugged one another before they immediately went to work.
"…I suppose I'll collect my tools and see what needs upgrading." Ron said after a moment, making Jade confused.
"Why not leave it to the chief engineer?" she asked. "Captains should be… should be…"
"Doing captain things? Yes. One of those things is seeing to the settling in of a new crewwoman with, shall we say, special needs." Ron answered. "Sonja is good with mechanics. This is closer to a mix of biology and technology and she knows better than to try. She leaves that to the expert. And as a former Borg, that's me. We're more alike than you think."
Jade blinks at that, before she smiled once more "I… guess we are, Captain." She nodded.
"Pinkerton to Ra Cailum." he said aloud. "Two to transport." Showers of light surrounded the two, right before they appeared in a VERY shiny transporter room.
"…Wow…" she muttered.
"Home sweet home." Ron said before guiding her into the corridor, which was FILLED with people. Hundreds of people in black and gray uniforms, all moving throughout the massive dreadnought. "Turbolift's this way."
"R-Right…" she muttered, overwhelmed. This… was her crew.
"We'll need to find a secure location for your core." he continued. "The saucer's a bad idea, as it can separate from the main hull-"
"This ship can split?" Jade cut off. "Like Galaxy and her sisters?"
"The Odyssey-Class took that little feature from her ancestor along with the bulk." Ron said. 'Odyssey-Class'. So her new ship was an Odyssey. "Though more features were taken from the Sovereign and…well, when the Ra Cailum was refit into a Lexington, the only original features left were her pylons, saucer and warp nacelles."
"It's beautiful…" Jade whispered, running her hands along the interior as she walked with Ron.
"Beauty mixed with lethality." Ron said. "When we're not busy doing logistical work, we're stabbing things in the face. We're the alliance's problem killers."
"Killers, not solvers?" Jade asked.
Ron patted her on the head. "You want to solve a problem, you send the Enterprise to talk things out," he said. "You want to end it PERIOD and leave a twitching corpse, you send the Ra Cailum."
…She HAD to introduce them to him. …He DID have a subspace transceiver in his spine…
"…If you're okay with it…" She began, "I'd uh… love to introduce you to… well, some of my shipgirl friends… me and the… I guess you could call them 'homeless' shipgirls, sorta have our own mini-friend group… Constellation, Stargazer and Riley. They'd probably love to meet you, Captain…"
She noticed something new in his eyes. Fear. Then she remembered he was originally Borg and there were voices out the ass in that signal.
"I-It's nothing like the Borg, I mean, I hope it's not, I-"
"Just… tell them not to… YELL." he cut off. "When you're part of the Collective, it's like a screaming crowd, trillions of voices, all combined with a pumping rush of pleasure-filled drugs. When I heard all that chatter, it was like that, minus the numbing pleasing effect."
"Don't worry, I can help filter out the extra noise from all the other shipgirls," Jade smiled reassuringly, before somewhat hesitantly holding Ron's hand. "It will just be the four of us, plus you."
"We'll go to my ready room. Follow me." he said, taking them to a turbolift, which was so…SHINY.
A quick run and they arrived on the massive bridge, filled with people. So many PEOPLE! She had to FIGHT squeezing at seeing her crew, all veterans of hundreds of missions, no doubt!
"Welcome back." dryly said a man with three pips on his collar. Her XO! "I see you brought… a friend."
"She's our new AI," Ron answered. "Basically Data, but… bouncier."
"Um… H-Hi…" Jade gulped, waving shyly at him as she looked at everyone. "M-My name is Jade! I… I am the Shipgirl AI of the USS Ra Cailum!"
"...Commander William Buck. First officer." the man said awkwardly before looking at his captain. "Sir, I don't have to point this out, but…oh, f*ck it, you don't do subtle: she looks like a stripper and she's got the figure of one."
"A fact that isn't lost on me, Commander." Ron said dryly. "But she is a Starfleet officer and in spite of her choice of attire, which I will be discussing with her at length at a later time, she is one of us and will be shown the respect according of a fellow officer."
Buck very wisely stood down. While Ron listened to his XO's advice, as any captain should, when the captain decided something would be done, it happened. Starfleet might have been a more relaxed force then the Klingon Defense Forces or the defunct-in-their-time Romulan Imperial Star Navy, they were still the defacto military of their government.
"Its okay XO," Jade smiled, "I actually take that as a complement… but if it's really that distracting I'll… figure something out… not gonna lie though, I kinda like this outfit…" She accentuated it by striking a… fairly provocative pose. "Its very liberating…"
Buck STARED for a few seconds…then coughed. "I'll…I'll be in Holodeck 4…" he said, walking away.
Jade blinked. "Holodeck 4? My Excelsior hull never had room for those things, so I didn't even have one." she said, confused.
"Bullsh*t. A few retrofits and removal of obsolete tech and you've got room for at least three on an Excelsior." Sonja said, hyperspanner in hand as she finished tuning a console. "But for most big ships, Holodeck 4 is the NSFW holodeck. So I suppose you could say you're NSFSY."
"Not Safe For Ship Yard." Ron said, amused. "Too sexy for engineers to handle without getting nosebleeds."
While Sonja wasn't her biggest fan - trapping her on her old hull wrote volumes - Jade beamed at the praise. Sure, her chosen body might've been influenced by all the lewd content she had forced on her thanks to that virus, a lithe, muscular body with the assets of a supermodel, nay, a hypermodel, but being called sexy was still nice.
"Um… t-thanks, Miss Henderson…" Jade nodded, still blushing. "…god, I'm so glad I don't have to do all this engineering by myself anymore…"
"Just get those insecurities under control." Sonja said dryly before getting back to work.
"Ready Room." Ron said, guiding her to the office in question.
"Try not to have too much fun in there." Riza called out from the helm. "I don't want to be an aunt just yet."
Jade blushed at the IDEA of… being a mom… but her smile at the actions preceding that betrayed her line of thought.
"That will depend on how our relationship pans out." Ron said simply, not denying it was possible. "But for now, I have HR problems to deal with. Starfleet has… AI orphans. Jade wants to introduce me to them."
"And then see if our ships will take them in?" Corpsa asked. "Well, good luck."
"Fingers crossed!" Jade said before following Ron into the ready room.
"…now that Riza mentioned it, I feel like I must ask…" Ron began, glancing at Jade. "Can ship girls have children?"
"Oh, um, absolutely!" She stated, still red-faced. "I mean… the relationship between Enterprise and Kirk is… rather famous/infamous… let's just says she has a… lot of grandkids out there in the fleet…"
"Of course he does. The man was practically married to the ship in our timeline." he said as they walked into his office, which was sparsely decorated, only having a model of an elegant starship and a fishtank filled with soil and plants near the door. "Why WOULDN'T he be the same in THIS timeline?"
"Well, Harriman had a field day explaining how he died-" Jade started.
"He's not dead." Ron cut off, like he was annoyed at the story, ignoring her stunned look. "He's stuck in some pocket paradise dimension created by an energy ribbon. Far as he's concerned, he just got there and he's chopping wood at his farm in Iowa."
Jade blinked at that declaration. James Kirk was ALIVE? He DIDN'T die on the Enterprise-B?
Before she could tell Enty the good news, something crawled out of the tank. It was fuzzy, had eight legs and huge googly eyes. A jumping spider of some kind, a MASSIVE one.
"Hey, Peaky." Ron said, the spider waving at him with one of his legs before looking at Jade.
"…Awww…" Jade cooed, kneeling towards the little spider. "What are you, you little cutie? A Peaco*ck spider? A pretty big one too…"
Peaky seemed to eye Jade up and down for a moment - then jumped. Jade blinked for a moment, before looking at a mirror in the room - noticing the Spider had landed on her head… and had begun… dancing?
"…aaaawwww…" She gushed, "He's so adorable…"
"He's a crossbreed with a coastal peaco*ck spider and a Gooty tarantula." Ron explained as he set up a chair for her. "Someone was making exotic pets, but decided to give Peaky there a brain almost like a dog's. Spy spider. But he liked me more than his Tal Shiar 'parents'."
Peaky seemed to smile with his little mouth legs before bouncing to the wall, then back at her, knocking her towards her captain. Landing his head right between her massive boobs.
"S-SORRY!" she cried, but Ron sighed.
"You're not the first pretty lady Peaky's knocked over." he said, the spider looking unrepentant as he gently pushed her off him. "Take a seat and we'll go talk to your friends."
"R-right!" Jade nodded, taking a seat. "Give me a moment, sending the invite…"
In Gal Chat, Jade once more materialized into a near-identical copy of the ready room, as she began sending invites to the other Shipgirls she knew. While she did that, similarly materializing into the subchannel appeared Ron as well. "Should be here any…"
"Guah!" A voice shouted, as falling from the ceiling was a blonde bombshell of a woman - hitting the table face-first. A second passed before she slowly raised a hand as a thumbs up. "Nailed… the landing…"
"…Riley, were you drinking the green stuff again?" Jade sighed.
"S'meone said the f*ckING name." Riley groaned, Ron sighing.
"That would be me." he said, getting her attention. "Apologies. Jade was telling me about you and… well, Q saw fit make it so whenever I said the name, EVERYONE knew it. At least I assume so: it's the only logical explanation."
She blinked. "The f*ck are you?" Riley demanded.
Ron rose an eyebrow. "Captain Ronald Pinkerton, serial number TR-17895-M-456." he replied. "Commanding officer, USS Ra Cailum, Nova-Charlie-Charlie-Nine-Four-Five-One-Seven-Alpha."
"…he a ship boy?" Riley asked, glancing at Jade.
"Nope, just as he said - he's my Captain." Jade said with a bit of pride in her voice. "He's also a former Borg Drone, and since apparently Borg use a similar subspace frequency to Gal Chat, he can listen in and hop into our channels as if he were one of us!"
"…huh…" Riley muttered, looking at Ron, eyeing him up and down. "I'll be damned… kinda cute too… not bad pick'ns, Jade, knew you'd find one eventually." She chuckled before she 'booped' Jade's nose making her lightly swat her hand away pouting a bit.
Another figure arrived, this one wearing a heavily modified version of a starfleet uniform, colored white, blue and grey - complete with a matching jacket and had. With long white hair tied into a ponytail and light blue eyes. "Jade, I swear if you're trying to share me more of your homemade p*rno's, I am not in the mood for-" The woman's rant ended as she looked in the room - gaze immediately turning to Ron. "…oh… its… you?"
"Have we met?" asked Ron. "Because I've been getting chatter out the ass since I got here."
"You blew up my hull!" she accused. "USS Constance, NCC-10367, Constellation-Class! You didn't even give any warning before you started blasting!"
Ron didn't even twitch. "Starfleet Tactical Directive B-12A: 'In the event of a boarding action by the Borg, personnel are required to either quickly repel the boarding parties or destroy the ship'. Order signed on Stardate 50893.9 after an incident with the Enterprise-E nearly resulted in the ship's total assimilation. Also signing was the Department of Temporal Investigations, so it's retroactive."
"A warning would've still been nice!" Constance exclaimed, "Me and the other girls barely had enough time to bail our SOUL Matrixes!"
"Cony, give him some slack," Jade defended, "He didn't even know shipgirls were a thing!"
"What?" Constance asked, looking perplexed.
"From the future, but a divergent timeline." Ron explained, "Ship girls were never invented in my timeline… hence why I'm given a bit more… leeway with telling people about the future since technically I'm not f*cking with my timeline."
"…Oh… I see…" Constance nodded slowly. "Well… I can forgive the… miscommunication…"
"Speaking of which, I was told you need new hulls. And luckily, I have over two hundred ships available." Ron said, before Jade gave him a PADD. "I'll have to talk to their captains, but…"
"Would they be fine with having AI aboard?"
All the girls jumped in surprise of the new voice, while Ron calmly turned to see a woman dressed in black almost like a Ninja getup, with long black hair, yellow eyes and…
…cat ears?
"And you must be…?" Ron asked.
"Stargazer." She said plainly.
"Picard's first command." he said. "All-business, all the time. Just like the Constellation-Class."
"A shame those were never as mass-produced as the Excelsior." Stargazer noted. "I must say I have a… preference for quad-nacelles."
"There she goes, bitching about the lack of quads again." Riley said, half-serious, half-playful.
"We have a number of quads." Ron said, skipping the complaints. "Europa, Buran, even Prometheus subtypes."
"Prometheus?" Stargazer asked.
"Tactical multi-vector assault cruiser." Ron explained. "Think the Galaxy-Class saucer sep, but with three warp-capable sections that are heavily armed."
Riley suddenly sat upwards. "I'm sorry what?" She asked suddenly, "I could be three ships at ONCE?!"
"Jade, can you… show me how to show them the ships?" Ron asked, somewhat awkwardly.
Jade's response was to kiss him on the lips, which actually surprised him before knowledge entered his brain. Constance facepalmed.
"Really," she deadpanned, before Ron created the image of the ship.
Triangular saucer, with a blended body secondary hull and four nacelles on forward-swept pylons…when then turned into three smaller pieces.
"Multivector Assault Mode. MVAM for short." Ron explained. "The Prometheus was one of three schools of thought in combating the Borg, borne from how the Enterprise-D rescued Picard on steroids."
"That seems overly complex." Stargazer noted. "The amount of processing power, not to mention fuel requirements for three warp cores-"
"That's why the design only ever saw limited production." Ron gently cut off. "f*cking thing was too complicated. The next redesign fixed most of the problems." Ron then showed a starker, more advanced version, with the nacelles almost looking like they were one unit. "Hestia-Class. We have the prototype in the fleet."
Riley looked at the floating model. "Mine." she declared.
"Uh…" Stargazer started.
"MINE!" repeated the AI of the former Reliant.
"It's only the first. Hell, you have an entire ship class named after you." Ron added.
She slammed her fist into the table. "Shut the f*ck up, no way!" She called out, grinning. "Where is she? How badass am I?"
Ron then produced an image… that was lightly disappointing.
It was more stylish, more modern…
"It's a f*cking Miranda!" she declared. "I get a class named after me and it's basically just a new Miranda?!"
"A Miranda with more teeth, hangar bays that actually allow for tactical fighters to take off and fight." Ron retorted.
Jade's eyes lit up. "Fighters?" she said. "I haven't seen fighters since… well… the Hydrans. There was a huge blow up about it for a while…"
"You know how it is. Revolution makes them viable, then not, then viable again." Ron said. "The Reliant's good as a forward deployment carrier. And the Bozeman-Class is even teethier."
The image showed a Reliant mixed with a Soyuz, armed with…TWELVE torpedo launchers? What the hell?!
"…I'll… stick with the Hestia." Riley said. "I don't-"
"It was not your fault. YOU didn't do it to the Enterprise." Ron stressed. "That was that augmented son of a bitch."
"Still my hull…" the blonde said.
While Ron consoled Riley, Jade sent an invite to Enterprise to talk.
Not a moment later, a fifth girl entered the room - a white haired beauty of a woman. "Hello Jade," She said with a soft smile, "I heard the news, I suppose congratulations are in order."
"Thank Enty," Jade smiled, as Ron blinked in recognition. "But I got good news for you too!"
"That being?" Enterprise rose an eyebrow.
"According to Captain Pinkerton-"
"Jade, maybe you-" Ron began, but he was too late.
"Captain Kirk is still alive!"
USS Enterprise-D - Earth orbit (docked with Station McKinley)
While the Enterprise hadn't taken as much damage as in the other timeline - apparently - she would still need a few weeks in drydock for repairs. The deflector dish needed replacing, the dilithium articulation frame was, in Geordi's unofficial words, FUBAR…
Riker settled back into his role as XO while Picard went to take a well-needed rest. So far, so-
He was suddenly slammed into a wall, narrowly avoiding the transparent aluminum windows as one of the Enterprise's warp nacelles let up and spun the ship 215 degrees.
He would later learn this put the Enterprise nose-on with the Ra Cailum-A.
"EXCUSE ME, WHAT?!" exclaimed Enterprise over ALL subspace channels and the ship's intercom.
Ron winced from her yell. He winced further as Enterprise grabbed him and shook him for answers like a bag of mixed nuts.
"HOW THE HELL IS JIM ALIVE?!" she demanded of him. "I saw the footage! He fell into space! I WATCHED HIM DIE!"
"Let go of me NOW." Ron ordered, Borg voice modulations entering his voice. "You will CALM YOUR sh*t. NOW."
To her credit, Enterprise did let go - took a moment to take a long, deeeep breath before she exhaled - but still glared daggers at Ron. "Explain. Now."
He sighed, all the girls eager to listen to the tale, Constance even sending invites to other shipgirls with a notice: KIRK IS ALIVE.
"I presume you're at least familiar with what happened to Captain Kirk." he started.
"I remember every second." Enterprise said, frowning as her hands clenched. "One of my bodies… was with him, trying to save my hull… from that damned ribbon…"
"What you aren't aware of is that the energy ribbon, the Nexus, is a gateway to a kind of… paradise dimension." he started. "It's unstable, obviously, but once you go in… your ultimate fantasies are there to experience. Say you wanted to redo the Battle of Genesis." Ron paused. "WERE you in your Connie 2 hull, might I ask?"
"Wherever Jim goes, I would go." Enterprise said firmly. "Before Jim blew up my hull, I had my Matrix ejected and my body evacuated with him to the surface. We were able to recover my Matrix with the Bounty before the planet blew."
"Well, imagine that, but you WIN. Kirk doesn't blow you up, manages to capture the B'rel, whatever. Or Narendra III. You WIN against those warbirds." Ron continued. "That's the Nexus. The ultimate fantasy. James Kirk is alive and well inside that thing and right now, he's taking an axe to a bunch of logs for his cabin in Iowa. And if your gynoid fell with him, you're in there, too - assuming I understand how these Gynoids work from what Jade told me."
Enterprise was quiet, while the once small ready room had suddenly transformed into an entire auditorium - as multiple shipgirls were now sitting in watching this whole transmission utterly enthralled. She had a look of deep contemplation. Then, she slowly looked to Ron - and he noticed a few tears in her eyes.
"Where… is the Nexus…?"
"You won't like my-"
"WHERE!"
"I DON'T KNOW!" he shouted. "I know where it WILL be, but you'll hate the outcome!"
"I'll be the f*cking judge of that!" She growled, "Where will it be? When?"
"The Viridian System. Stardate 48632." Ron said. "But I hope you're willing to uphull, because you LOSE your Galaxy-Class frame."
Enterprise blinked. He was mad. No, not mad. Frustrated.
"…So, who did me in?" She asked, "Romulans? They love flaunting that damned ovesized green bird…"
"Klingons, actually." Ron corrected.
"Ah… fair enough," She nodded, taking a deep breath. "Those Vor'cha's are pretty nasty…"
"You get offed by a E12-Class B'rel." Ron said dryly.
Everyone knew the E12, the first model of B'rel-Class bird of prey. Retired DECADES ago and replaced with the E15.
The audience could hear the sound of stone grinding as Enterprise's head turned towards Ron. "…A B'rel?" She repeated.
"…yes."
"…a f*cking… outdated… B'rel…" She repeated, looking at Ron as if he had grown a second head.
"To be fair, they hacked Geordi's VISOR and crippled your shield generators so you couldn't remodulate after the first shot." he said. "The second shot basically caused a slow feedback loop that caused a warp core breach. They knew they wouldn't last ten seconds in a real fight."
Enterprise leaned forward, grasping on the table - all while Jade and her friends all backed up - feeling the killing intent eminating from the oldest and most experienced ship girl in the fleet.
"Who… did it?" she growled.
"Lursa and B'Etor, of the House of Duras." Ron answered. "Renegades. Whose father also betrayed Khitomer to the Romulans. Whose brother sulleyed Worf's good name. Whose cousin led a civil war in the Empire."
He didn't care. Only one member of that house was worth a damn: Jarod, son of Lursa. Decent man. So long as he made sure he was born, all was well.
"I'd also keep an eye out for Tolian Soran. Ultimately, he's the one that killed Kirk." Ron recited. "Literally the one responsible for killing him."
CRACK.
Ron glanced down as all the girls collectively winced as Enterprise punched the desk - cracking under her strength as her body visibly shook. "I… will keep an eye out…" she growled.
One AI, with brown hair, green eyes, with the figure of an average woman, wearing a uniform of a Revolutionary War-era Continental soldier - though tailored, obviously, for her gender - approached the ex-drone. "And how would you know this?" she demanded.
Ron gave her a look. "I see someone sent invites." he deadpanned, Constance looking away from him before he turned to the woman in question. "You are?"
"My crew calls me Gutsy. But you probably know my ship as-"
"USS Farragut. Originally a Peregrine-Class, then refit to Constitution-Class standards, currently installed in a Nebula-Class hull." Ron cut off. "I wouldn't get too comfortable in that hull. You'll be downgrading to your old Excelsior in 6 years."
"I was also one of his homes." she stressed. "How do you know about him?!"
Ron snapped his fingers, showing off the battle in orbit of Viridian 3, the saucer separation. Every girl assigned to a Galaxy hull winced as the hull exploded. Warp core breaches…never fun.
"Blame the Prime Directive. The saucer was hot-dropped on Viridian III and had to be removed to not to influence the system." Ron said. "We had to remove everything, from Soran's infrastructure to something that made no sense. A human body, approximately 60 years old, buried in a cairn…with a Starfleet insignia marking the grave."
Enterprise fell to her knees.
"He died saving Viridian IV from a supernova." the captain added.
"He was left in a PILE OF ROCKS." Enterprise retorted.
"Well, what would you have preferred? A GRAND funeral, millions watching as he was slowly paraded like an art object to a mausoleum, admirals and politicians milking it for their own personal gain?" Ron snapped. "If you truly knew Kirk, you know he would've preferred a simple burial. Picard gave him that. But leaving him there was a grand violation of the Prime Directive, like Armstrong and Aldrin finding a crashed flying saucer on Luna with a dead alien at the wheel."
"…he deserved… to be buried at home…" Enterprise muttered, All she could do was hope that her presence would make things better in this timeline. And having foreknowledge. "Where's his body?"
"A vault at Daystrom Station."
"WHAT?!" she demanded, launching to her feet. "YOU LET HIM ROT THERE?! WHY?!"
"2285, Mutara Sector." Ron retorted, showing a lack of patience.
Jade thought it over. Only two events mattered in that area at that time. The Battle of the Mutara Nebula and the destruction of the 1701. What was the common factor?
"…Spock." Enterprise said, coming to the conclusion. "They held Jim's body at that station because of SPOCK?"
"Think about it. Spock's body gets buried on Genesis, then the Grissom gets blown up-" a shipgirl wearing a US Air Force uniform from the 1960s cringed - "Then YOU blow up, nearly causing an interstellar war, then the f*cking Whale Probe happened. ARE YOU SEEING A PATTERN? Your crew are singularities: where they go, weird sh*t follows! Better to keep him in a known location so, I don't know, a Borg-Romulan hybrid doesn't start smashing things."
Enterprise frowned, seeing the logic yet not happy about it that much. Then two more shipgirls arrived, one an elegant blonde, the other a short-haired brunette.
And blondie was pissed.
"You lying bastard!" she yelled, before Ron turned to face the woman.
"You are?" he asked dryly.
"USS Hood!" she yelled. "You're toying with Enterprise's feelings, you son of a-"
Ron displayed a bio-readout record from Daystrom Station: And anyone with a brain could see it was James Kirk.
"Next time, fact check." Ron said before he saw the crowd. "If you're active duty ships, f*ck off! If you're inactive reserve, stay! We got 200 ships to go through if you want to return to active duty! Line up and prepare for interviews! Figured I'd see who's the best match for our ships."
Ron was hoping that saying that would thin the crowd a bit, have less girls to deal with…
…none of them left.
"…let me guess…" Ron groaned. "Fleet logistics never assigned you new hulls?"
They all nodded simultaneously.
"I'm going to kill him." he declared. "I am going to remove his head and STICK IT ON A PIKE as a warning for ALL TIME. I'm going to contact the Hestia's captain and deal with you first."
Meanwhile, Jade was looking over personnel records. It was a MASSIVE list.
On her old hull, the list was zero. Now…thousands. The fleet had almost half a million people in it.
So many PEOPLE! One personnel record stuck out, though. She almost missed him, honestly - but a nagging in the back of her head told her to give them a second look.
"Jaden… Takeo…?" She muttered, looking at the image of what looked like… well, a male version of herself honestly. Similar eyes, far shorter hair but… the resemblance was… uncanny. But that wasn't really what grabbed her attention… well, it was - but it was something else. It was something… deeper in his eyes…
…how dead they looked… they looked so… wrong.
From sheer curiosity she pulled up his service record with Starfleet - he was a Lieutenant in Starfleet Military Assault Command Operations (MACO), or as everyone else called them, Starfleet Marines. But the record also labeled him as part of the "88th Damocles Expeditionary Force". Looking deeper, she learned that apparently Starfleet had recruited large swaths of soldiers from a planet called Damocles - trying to fill up their ranks during an event labeled as 'the Dominion War'.
The details list the world of Damocles as a world devastated by some past nuclear arms exchange, and the people were able to achieve warp flight after it - but they were exceptionally gifted in combat, fielding enhanced soldiers not too dissimilar to the Angosian super soldiers Enterprise had to handle. The Federation needed soldiers to fight something called a "Jem'Hadar" on equal footing, and Damocles was able to win a spot within the Federation by offering their services to Starfleet MACO.
The results spoke for themselves, as the Damoclesians took part in many major engagements to dislodge Dominion forces from key Federation worlds… but Jade blanched as she looked at the casualty reports. They were… excessive to say the least. Their proficiency for combat was not up for question - they clearly knew how to fight a ground war and win it no matter what cost… but thousands of men were killed in engagements that if done correctly or smartly, would've had almost zero losses, with dozens of complaints from her own captain, though they were ignored.
As she wasn't hooked into the ship yet and her upgrades to these really advanced networks weren't going to be ready for a while, she had to ask the emotionless non-sentient computer for directions.
Sure, she got why they were necessary for operations - sometimes shipgirls DID get compromised - but they were so creepy.
"Computer, locate Jaden Takeo." she said, biting the bullet.
"Jaden Takeo is in Holodeck 5." came the reply from the usual computer voice, making her shudder. "Deck 9, section 12."
"Thank you!" Jade smiled, making her way. Sure, the computer didn't really emote all that much - but she was used to talking to shipgirls so it was always instinctual to say 'thanks'. She walked her way towards the holodeck - passing by her fellow crewmen, basking in the fact she actually had crewmen of her own now - relishing in how they looked at her as she walked by, with most of the men (and some women) ogling her as she walked by.
While her old hull was by no means dirty, the corridors were so…SHINY. And the wood panelling was a nice touch. She touched it as she walked to the holodeck, realizing this was REAL redwood. From a forest on Deinonychus VII. One hell of a logging industry there.
And making that Jurassic Park thing a reality.
Her musing came to an end as she reached the doors. She'd never really used a holodeck: the Connie was the only ship to have a primitive one and her Excelsior never got a holodeck.
"Holodeck currently in use. Access denied." came the matter-of-fact voice of the computer.
"Oh uhh…" Jade paused for a moment "Override… access code, Ra Cailum Alpha-Beta."
"Processing. Command Codes Accepted - overriding." Jade smiled as the doors slid open…
…and was welcomed by the sounds of screams, explosions and all amounts of weapons fire - as the interior of the holodeck seemed to be encompassed within a battlefield of some sort, between men in Federation MACO armor and multiple heavily armed and armored giant lizardmen.
"...seems rather excessive…" Jade muttered as she strolled inside, watching as the battle played out around her as a passive observer as she began looking for wherever Jaden might be. "Really weird-looking Gorn though…"
Sure, she knew there were castes to the species - it was baked in - but four arms? That wasn't in her database.
"WALK THIS PATH, ASSHOLE!" cried one MACO, firing his phaser rifle at one of them, a drone then locking a tractor beam on him, but he flung a spring-mounted bayonet open and shoving it into one of the lizardmen's necks, hacking it off, but another one roared and ran towards him.
And Jade saw something. The carbon scoring on the armor wasn't simulated. The safety protocols were shut off?!
What idiot would do that?!
The Marine started running towards the MACO trooper - who tried to fire his phaser, but it refused to function. Instead he threw it like a spear - bayonet out and catching the creature in the neck, throwing off its charge as he ducked and rolled underneath it. He then drew out two Phaser Pulse Pistols - unloading them into the lizard's back before he had the time to turn around. He then ducked under the swing of another Lizard - dropping one of the phasers before pulling out a trench knife and stabbing the Gorn-like beast right in the eye before it fell limp.
He then fell back to a nearby hole in the ground, where he picked up a heavy phaser auto-cannon left behind a dead soldier before he unloaded into a growing hoard of the lizards approaching his position - screaming at the top of his lungs as they rushed forwards.
One of the monsters was dead, a glowing hole in his head before another one grabbed him, roaring as it prepared to rip his arms off, but he stared defiantly, glaring it in the eye.
"COMPUTER, FREEZE PROGRAM!" Jade ordered, preventing the thing from proceeding to rip his arms off.
"…oh by the first father…" The MACO trooper growled, "Alright, who the f*ck snuck in here?! I am in the middle of my-" He turned around, spotting Jade - and suddenly the figure turned… rigid. "Oh… a-apologies Ma'am, I was unaware of your presence. Is there something you require?"
Jade was very, VERY confused. "…Just familiarizing myself with my new job." she said. "You're listed as the MACO commander on the Ra Cailum, so…" she shrugged. "You nearly got yourself killed. That thing-"
"The Tzenkethi. Ma'am" he said.
"I'm not your superior officer: I'm a freaking Lieutenant!" Jade exclaimed. Starfleet never promoted her commission since her… birth. Enterprise was officially a Captain!
"You… are still a woman, Ma'am." The MACO stated, "I am simply following protocole, I apologize if I am offending you. "
What?
"Um… It's… fine?" She shrugged, "Still… you almost got yourself killed, trooper… Jaden, right?"
"Possibly, but in the event of a lethal injury I would be transported to sick bay for treatment." He stated, almost as if he were talking about the weather. "It's standard Damoclesian training protocol, ma'am - live fire training exercises are a requirement."
"The safety protocols would help!" she exclaimed. "You can't gain experience if you're dead and even Federation medical science has its' limits!"
"If I die in a training exercise, it means I am not strong enough to contribute to the rest of the unit." He said. "By order of the Matron council, the chaff must be removed from the wheat for a greater harvest."
There was something WRONG with him. So she called up Ron on Gal Net. At least he had the speed to keep up with her: the conversation would take SECONDS.
"Captain? There's something very wrong with… would calling him my brother be inaccurate?' she called.
'He doesn't have your generous figure, but it would be.' he said before she heard screaming in Ukrainian. Kutsnetzov must've been trying to get away from carriers again. Her bad luck from her namesake carried over: from the Niles to the crude Excelsiors, there were mishaps galore. 'Let me guess. You discovered he has… problems.'
"…to say the least…" Jade muttered, as Jaden wrestled himself out of the grasp of the frozen holographic lizard. "He's talking to me all weird… and his idea of a training regime is a bit… lethal."
"Damoclesians have a…very unique way of thinking. They're also extremely feminist. And that's using the LITERAL definition of the world, not the moronic one from the late 20th and early 21st Centuries."
"…WOMEN are solely in charge?" she asked.
"Let's put it this way: if I had my way, the matriarchs would have their heads on pikes. But the Federation doesn't do regime change. More's the pity." he said before screaming back at Kusy. "…I suppose he's going to be your project."
"…it's weird, but…" Jade muttered, "If he… really is somehow like my… cosmic brother or something… I can't just let him be like… this, I gotta save him somehow!"
"Good luck-" Ron started before stopping. "Starship entering sensor range. Galaxy-Class. Registry Nova-Charlie-Charlie-Seven-One-Zero-Two-Six."
Jade's eyes almost shot out of their semi-organic sockets. For a while, she forgot why her captain's name sounded familiar.
Because the Galaxy-Class USS Damascus, NCC-71026, was commanded by Captain Veronica Pinkerton… the most violently anti-AI captain in the fleet. 18 months ago, when she took command, she said she'd give Dammi, who took the form of an Arabian belly dancer - and was one of the few AIs to spend time with her regularly - a chance to prove her wrong.
Six months later, she stopped getting letters.
USS Minerva
Tatsuki frowned as she saw the Damascus approaching. The Galaxy-class starship had several instances of carbon scoring and such, and literally looked dirty.
Of course, she knew its captain, too. 'Auntie Veronica' was someone she spent time with a lot growing up, as her father and mother served with her during the Dominion War. On the other hand… well, Ron's non-Borg behavior had to come from somewhere.
"She looks even dirtier than in our time." Elisa said, seeing hundreds of marks from disruptor fire, plasma torpedoes, she even saw the trademark burns of a Plasmatic Pular Device. Of course, there was one reason she never cleaned the ship.
One, combat wasn't affected. Cosmetics weren't important. That said, the main reason was intimidation.
'Take a good look. THIS is what's hit me. I'm still here. f*ck OFF OR DIE'. Mother and son operated on fear when it came to their enemies. Half the time, ship captains were too scared to face either the Ra Cailum or the Damascus.
"We're being hailed." said T'vrell. "Repeatedly."
"Might as well put her through," Tatsuki said with a sigh. "She's not one to be kept waiting."
The typical bridge of a Galaxy appeared on the main viewer, with a few modifications. The carpeting was gone, the long rail serving as the large tactical station was also gone, replaced by a simple sitting station. Like mother like son: small and simple, overcomplication was inefficient.
"Unidentified vessel, this is Captain Veronica Pinkerton of the USS Damascus. You might have a Starfleet IFF code, but your ships are not a known configuration." said a woman that looked a lot like Riza, but her hair was a lot darker, more akin to Ron's and her eyes were mismatched: gold in the right, blue in the left, wearing the 2350-65 uniform, nicknamed 'the pajamas' or 'the onesie'. They were very unpopular, being overly tight, though the style wasn't, as easy-to-read-at-a-glance division colors and uncomplicated rank insignia wasn't just a good idea, it was a throwback to the glory days of Kirk and the original 1701 Enterprise and the days of Archer and the NX-01 at the same time. Hence the redesign with a slightly looser fit and a proper collar. "Identify yourselves immediately or we will open fire."
"Hello, Aunt Veronica," Tatsuki replied tiredly, causing the woman on the other side to start confusedly. "This is Captain Tatsuki Yamato of the USS Minerva. Our ships may not be recognizable, but that can be explained with one simple sentence. DTI hates our asses."
"And you violated the Temporal Prime Directive WHY?" she demanded.
"Your son's why. Captain Ronald Pinkerton of the Ra Cailum." Tatsuki smoothly replied.
"The Ra Cailum? TELL me that f*cking lightbulb isn't installed on his ship." Veronica pleaded.
"We're also technically from an alternate timeline where shipgirls never got invented," Tatsuki informed. "That said, Ron's an ex-Borg Drone - long story, probably his place to tell - and he seems to have established something of a rapport with the Ra Cailum shipgirl over here, from what I've heard."
The look of terror and horror in her eyes was new. Tatsuki didn't know why, other than running sensor readings of the massive dreadnought, which she knew damn well outgunned most ships. And Ra Cailum's AI was a pervert. Imagining that kind of firepower in her hands wasn't pretty.
Then the comm cut off. And alarms were going off.
"Uh… the Damascus is target-locking the Ra Cailum." Elisa reported. "A LOT."
"Let Ron know. Maybe he can talk his mother down." Tatsuki could only hope.
Because the only one that could keep a Pinkerton from resorting to violence was another Pinkerton. Especially an ex-Borg like Ron - while he retained the standard Pinkerton rage, his implants meant that he could be, as someone said in the 2380s, 'Vulcan as a motherf*cker.'
USS Ra Cailum (Lexington-Class)
Ron stormed out of his ready room. "Just as I got that Ukrainian to consider it." he groused. "REPORT!"
"The Damascus just target locked us with every weapons array she has." Corpsa reported, sounding rather bored.
Who could blame her? The Damascus wasn't her modern, pseudo-Ross form with Mk 14A phaser arrays and a massively uprated warp core. She had the 12 extra fusion reactors - no luxuries that weren't necessary for patrol duties and sure as hell no civilians - but she was still mounting Mk 9s like every other Galaxy and her photon torpedoes were still the Mk 8As. The Mk X standard wouldn't come until after the D's crash landing in 2372. She'd be a minor annoyance at most for any Oddy.
To the Ra Cailum, it would be a test of patience of how long it would take for them to finally decide to blow it up. Because with her Borg upgrades - and other exotics like Dominion tech exchanges, Tzenkethi thievery and reverse engineered technology from the Iconians and Breen - there was literally nothing outside of a Hutet-Class Cardassian superdreadnought that could be a legit threat in this timeframe. And even THAT was in question.
"She's hailing us." the Andorian said.
"On screen." Ron ordered before bringing Jade up on mental call.
At least THAT call would go very quickly.
"…why does my mom want to kill you?" he asked.
"I don't know!" Jade whispered from her hiding place under the console. "Everytime I try to figure out I get attacked by anti-virus watchdogs! She won't even answer my calls! "
"The Damascus AI?" Ron asked.
"I don't know!" Jade shrugged, "All I know is her ship is a ship girl death trap, and if she wants her privacy, fine - she'll have it! So I just… stopped trying, and hope she'd leave me alone!"
"We'll find out soon." Ron said comfortingly, before his mother appeared on screen.
"…You've got the hair." Veronica said.
"Hello, mother." Ron deadpanned. "Just so you're aware, you're making a massive mistake."
"You're trying to install the most perverted AI in the fleet on that ship of yours!" Veronica accused.
"…t-tell her I'm not here…" Jade whispered. "I… I'm down for maintenance!"
Ron did NOT want to lie. "I'm considering it while her core is being modernized." he said somewhat honestly. "Disarm your weapons. Your ship's no match for mine."
"Then let me beam on board and make sure you don't suffer the same fate as the rest of our family!" Veronica demanded. "Because all they do is try to kill us."
"I'm going to need evidence of that first. And if you board my ship, you will treat Jade with the respect she is due under the First Guarantee." Ron said firmly, the First being read 'if a lifeform is proven to be sentient, it will be afforded all the respect as any other lifeform'. "If you DON'T, I will hold you as violating the laws we all swore to uphold and TOSS YOU IN MY BRIG."
Veronica blinked… then smiled. "THERE'S the anger. Alright. We'll do this your way." she said. "And then you'll change your mind and space that f*cking light--"
"Finish that slur, I will destroy your ship." Ron cut off, proving one thing: testing him was never a GOOD idea. "Beam over at your convenience."
With that, ship-to-ship comms cut off.
"I'll… just lock myself up in a holodeck…" Jade muttered, drooping. "Its… easier that way…"
"No." Ron said firmly
Jade started to panic at that. "Wait, what? She'll--"
"Do NOTHING." Ron cut off, firmly.
"M-me being there will just make things awkward!" She stated, "She… she's your mom! I don't want to mess things up between you!"
"She's going to have to learn the hard way that I do not put up with racist bullsh*t. If her claims have validity, I'll find out why. If they're not… Well." Ron said before walking to a turbolift. "THEN things will get interesting."
Ron the True Fan: Ah, yes. Racism. But the case for Veronica is actually less actual racism then conditioned reaction. See… Her family NEVER starts it. It's always the AIs. But once it starts, they sure as sh*t return the favor.
Takeshi Yamato: That said… there's more reasons involved that Veronica doesn't know about. But Ron's probably going to figure them out and tell her.
117Jorn: …*chuckles* I already know, but I'll never tell…
Ron the True Fan: They'll all find out soon enough.
Ja Ne!
