Help! Bnos Avigail seminary | Imamother (2024)

She had nothing negative to say about the seminary itself, only that it wasn’t for DD.
While she emphasized that the BA girls are good, solid, smart girls - most are coming from backgrounds not typical (Russian families, BT, divorced families etc..). Not to say anything is wrong with these.

The words odd, out of the box, possibly even weird were also used to describe the girls.
To add further salt to wound, it was mentioned how many girls only attend BA as their backup (always the bridesmaid never the bride) when their preferred places don’t work out.

Needless to say my DD freaked out, and is now thinking about her backup option of Machon Raaya. She does not want to be labeled a weirdo/“nebbe” nor have .....

We proceeded to call 2 women from NY/NJ that deal with girls post seminary and none of them even heard of BA. This part got me worried, as we’re from a small Midwest town that’s reliant on word of mouth that comes from being in a certain seminary.

I know that a number of Imas have posted nice things to say about BA, but since everyone is anonymous, for all I know it could be the same person that is a marketer for the seminary.

What should we do?

Yep. Though they would not reject a girl from a divorced home just because of that, which I think is a good thing.

It's also important to remember that Bnos Avigayil is fairly new- about five years old. So less people will know about it. It's also less "in town". Which isn't to say they don't take NY and NJ girls, because all the girls I know who went there are from NY and NJ. But there is a bit more of an OOT feel. And that may be where the idea of everyone being strange or problematic or out of the box is from. But that's not how it is.

Ftr, she is from a family of ffb parents and grandparents, no divorces, is from the tristate area... her roommates were all from the tristate area as well although she did say it has an OOT “flavor”. She also heard before she went that the girls at BA were less “jappy” and into gashmius than the girls in Machon Raaya were. These were all positives for DD (OOT flavor, less jappy) but perhaps aren’t for yours.

I’m honestly horrified that someone would say that-even if it were true, to insinuate that bright, nice, emotionally healthy girls who come from atypical backgrounds are somehow “less than” is just so disturbing.

Hatzlacha making your decision.

BA is known as very nice girls and not at all know as an issue school. Really not at all! I know tons of girls that went there. It probably does have more out of town girls than BR, but lots of people like that! It prides itself on that I think. It is not know as problem people- just out of town in a positive way. Reality check is that lots of guys for dating also like out of town- it is a positive for many people even while it is a negative for some - not all people want very cool to the hilt, in town girls. Also lots of out of town girls like being with other less in town girls bc it is hard to break in to in town circles or get all the specific nuances if u aren't from the Lakewood and Ny area.

Everyone I know in Passaic know about BA and it has a solid reputation.

As an aside girls can be wonderful from divorced homes and Russian backgrounds and far away out of town backgrounds. I am in town enough to know what u mean when u use those as examples that could be problems and about not wanting to go to an issue school. But I am so sad about where our society has come. I am appalled.

HaShem doesn't care about coolness factors. I am so over that.... it is just so unimportant and below us as a people . Bring on a nice, solid genuine friend, teacher, daughter in law, son in law, any day...and who cares if they are cool and in town or not. It's like we are still in high school our whole lives when we focus on this. It isn't real frumkite.

In any case- BA is truly a normal solid school. She should go and enjoy!

My dd went and has lovely things to say about the school, teachers and experience. She is more typical BY than lots of the girls there and made good friends, 2 very close friends. It attracts out of the box girls. She uses that phrase to describe the experience. If that phrase is not for you, BA my not be for you.